Extra 25 Pounds? It’s Not My Best Look.

My delusion bubble was burst when I realized that those extra 25 pounds are not invisible.

Barb Here

A while back I wrote a post about EW (my dear one) in which I implied he was delusional (as most of us may be) in that he thinks others who are 70 are “elderly” while he is only late-middle-aged. That last term is one he has never used, but I do know he considers himself a baby-boomer and probably the youngest one on the planet.

We May All Be Delusional in Some Way

It’s time to confess that I, too, am delusional but not about age. In fact, on our recent trip EW had to remind me that I am only 61 not 62.  First a disclaimer: Please, understand that I am not making light of anyone who sincerely has a body-image problem or true eating disorder.

I’ve heard that girls and women with eating disorders can look in the mirror and see themselves as fat, when truly they are underweight. That can be horrible and heartbreaking.

I look in the mirror and see myself as “just right”, even though

• I am wearing my largest clothes
• At least half of my locker contains clothes that are too small
• I am within 4 pounds of my top weight (For me “top” does not mean ideal.)

No, Those Extra 25 Pounds are Not My Best Look

When I wear the clothes I like, I like what I see. (The delusion is busted when I go shopping and try on clothes that don’t work.) But let’s go back to the clothes I like… during our recent wonderful trip to the wedding I wore my favorite skort and a new Chico’s (bought for 3.50 at a thrift shop) teal (my favorite color) top. I love that top. Now, check out this photo, yes, taken in the ladies’ room of the wedding venue. (Tune in later for a story about tulle.)

I have achieved something I used to only talk about. I have become a block on toothpicks. My legs are still slender (though not as slender as they used to be) but the rest of me has melded together into this lumpy cube between my head and thighs. (Two of those “lumps” have been proven to be Double Ds, which explains a lot.)

While I imagined a shape similar to my sister-in-law Dale, (on the right) we can all see that she has a waist and I do not. I can only assume that I haven’t had a waist for months. (Two years?) (More?) And that living aboard with no decent mirror has allowed me to remain delusional about those extra 25 pounds.

And yes, I have been checking the scale, so intellectually I knew about the extra 25 pounds, but somehow still felt that my body type had gone from what is evidently now called an “inverted triangle” to a full-figured “hour-glass”. This despite knowing that I am short-waisted and tend to gain weight from neck to thighs. In my twenties, I actually said that if I gained too much weight I’d look like an orange walking down the street.

For those of us who eschew delusion, we can buy a 3D imaging mirror by Naked for just $1400.00. So wish I were kidding. Yes, I’d rather be delusional than allow this device to record my stats and provide me with a 3D model on my phone.  (Sign up on their site and you get it with free shipping.) So not kidding.

As for me, my delusions, and the weight, I can either love it or lose it. My choice.

Well, dang.

Projection meet reality. Using this new (to me) body shape guide, my body type is officially an “Oval”—more mango than orange, but still…

NOTE: This post was written and sent to Lynnelle in draft form on Monday. She immediately replied with the post she was working on about the exact same subject. This led to a discussion on our Facebook group that some of you may have seen and we are forming an accountability/support group STAT!

Why STAT? Because some of you are going to Paris in just a few weeks while I who am not going will become 62 on October 18th.  So we started to provide each other with accountability. Frankly three weeks later, I need a keeper. I didn’t even post this AND I haven’t actually started doing what I need to do to lose weight.

Delusional.  (And the “”featured image” was taken the day after our wedding. At that point, my weight was good, and I (like many of us in the 80’s thought a curly perm was a good idea. Delusional.

I’m on it. For Real this time.