Do You Need to Be Married Over 60?
We tend to look at things differently over 60; Health and healthcare, financial priorities, dress, makeup and hair styles… Marriage is another one. If you’re a single woman, do you feel the need to be married over 60? Sometimes we’ll think, “yes”; sometimes, “hell, no”.
You DON’T Know What You’d Do “if”…
It’s always hard to say “what you’d do if…”, because unless you’ve experienced the “if”, you really don’t know. No, you don’t. You can think, “If I won that bazillion$$ lottery I’d XYZ. If he would have said XYZ to me, I’d have ABC. If I were married now, I’d have gone to 123.” Yea, Yea.
So, here I am – the Heels Diva – sitting here at 60 years old, legally a single woman. Kurt and I have been together 5 years, but not married. We just returned from his daughter’s wedding and it brings the subject to the forefront again – are we going to get married? I don’t know. Should we? Do I want to? Do we feel the need to? Again, I don’t know. Sometimes I think “yes”. But not always.
Living in Sin
Maybe it’s because of the era in which we grew up, marriage was a given in this country. Living together as a couple without being married was not acceptable. In Europe and other places in the world, perhaps it was a different story. In Dallas, TX where I grew up however, living together out of wed”lock” was only becoming ‘a thing’, albeit still the exception, as I entered high school (1972).
If I bring it up, Kurt and I talk about getting married; and by bringing it up I mean, “What do you think? Should we do it?” The one and only time he brought up the subject we had been together about a year; maybe 18 months. He made a reservation at a nice steakhouse in Dallas. Once we sat down and ordered cocktails, he looked at me, was silent for about 10 seconds, and said, “Well, we might as well do this.” It took me a second to figure out what “do this” meant.
Is Getting Married Over 60 Necessary?
Thinking about getting married over 60, there are so many things to consider that didn’t exist – or we just ignored earlier in life. Otherwise, far fewer of us would have married. But, legal and financial discussions aside – if you aren’t already, is getting married over 60 important to you? I’m curious.
As you say, we don’t really know about the XYZ’s of things until they happen. Marriage makes dealing the bad stuff easier—I don’t mean emotionally, I mean legally. If getting married is the only way to avoid nasty fights or being shut out during my imaginary S.O.s crisis, I’d push for marriage. If I knew there were directives in place, and that everyone would play nice, then it isn’t necessary. We have friends and family who have worked it out to their satisfaction. Some live together and others have each kept their own abodes. All are in committed relationships and we love the pseudo-in-laws because they love our people. We feel the same way about you and Kurt.