I may not publish this post. (Because do you really need to read a post about communication between the sexes and pee-proof underwear? Isn’t that one bridge too far?
It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve written anything – or even sat down at my computer. No particular event or reason. I just didn’t “feel like it”. Part of me feels like I’m deluding myself in thinking anyone even reads the stuff I write here. Another part doesn’t give a shit.
I believe that because I believe it’s not too late to change my life, and I’m working on that change. Every. Single. Day. So I believe this to be true for all of us: If you are healthy enough to undertake your chosen new path, then it’s not too late to change your life. There’s a caveat to this: Having never completed a marathon, I’m not embarking on one now; nor am I going to begin a career on stage or learn to sing. Some things are impossible but I believe anyone can change their life for the better, I believe that anyone can successfully turn their life—or some important part of their life—in a new and better direction.
As my mother-in-law used to say, frequently, “Getting old isn’t for sissies.” That goes double when one contemplates screening for colon cancer. Note, this is NOT for the squeamish. Which I kind of am—squeamish, that is. In fact, I probably wouldn’t read past this paragraph, if I hadn’t written the post. If you’re eating, or don’t like reading about icky bodily function stuff—DO NOT READ MORE.
Why is it that most us (women over 50) are so damn practical? It’s not really even practical I’m thinking, but utilitarian. If it doesn’t cook something, clean something, make something faster (or slower) or easier – we won’t spend the money on ourselves. We’ll spend the money on someone else, but not ourselves, unless it is “practical”. But guess what!! If you don’t prioritize you – no one will. And, while maybe not EVERY time – but sometimes, you SHOULD be the priority.
Why do we think these things aren’t important? Because we won’t DIE without them?
No, we’ll live; but how fully? How fully and how well can we live if we never prioritize ourselves? Don’t give me the “but I don’t have any money” line. It doesn’t need to be expensive to prioritize yourself– and besides, I believe we are able to do and have much more than we realize or believe. We have to quit the “Yea, but…” routine.
As I post this, I was to have been en route to New York City. Alone. Because I want to. I’m cashing out points for the flight and points for most of the hotel. But, I’m sure I would have made the trip with or without points. I may have stayed with a friend or two rather than the hotel and waited for a bargain airfare. It only matters that I make a trip to NY every other year, or so. Being in NY, visiting my friends in NY fills me up.
Something else I’ve decided recently – maybe because of the aging, or maybe I’m just slow to evolve – but, I don’t want to wear Jockey, Hanes, or any other practical underwear any more. I want to feel feminine, for me. It’s not that no one will see if I’m wearing nice undies – I will see. No one else needs to see or even know… well, no one but Kurt (and Pablo). (I’ll keep a couple of practical sets for those gardening, house-cleaning, sick-in-bed days…) Whether I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt or a nice “party dress”, I want to wear feminine, silky, underwear that will NOT hold up in the wash. Yes, hand washing is a lot more work and yes, feminine, quality lingerie is more expensive, but it feels good to wear beautiful, quality ANYTHING – even when no one (except Kurt and Pablo) sees it.
Whatever it is that fills you up, makes you feel good, it’s important to make it a priority. Because it’s through you, how you treat yourself that others learn how to treat you.
Thinking about my trip to NY (which has been rescheduled for May 7 – 12 due to, yet another Nor’easter) spurred me on to write this post. I caught myself thinking how selfish it was for me to take the trip, what should I make myself accomplish while there to make the trip worthwhile, what should I sacrifice later to compensate???
Snap out of it! This kind of thinking is just Bullsh*t. I know I’m fortunate. I also know I’m a better, more fulfilled person when I recognize and prioritize being a better, more fulfilled person.
I dare you to do the same. It doesn’t have to be a week in NYC or an expensive set of lingerie. How about taking the afternoon this weekend to visit a friend you’ve been missing? Or, take a nap? Or, going to see the movie Lady Bird (coz you know you’re SO doesn’t like chic flicks…) Or – go sit under a tree and read a book. … or go to Paris with us (We have 1 confirmed and 2 reserved… That leaves 2 spots, for sure.)
Whatever fills you up. I dare you.
Let me know.