March 12, 2018

You Are Someone’s Heroine

Some of us reach the vibrant, fun age of 60 and are exactly where we want to be. Most of us still have a bit of work to do. All of us are Someone’s Heroine.

Barb Here

Every strong, smart, loving woman is someone’s heroine.

Yesterday, I went for a long walk with a fellow cruiser, also over 60, and her amazingly wonderful dog, a giant schnauzer. We talked about dogs, families, the cruising life, sailing (which truly is a different conversation from “the cruising life”), being a step-mom (we both think it’s a blessing), careers (she holds 5 patents), and what’s next for us and we agreed that the thing we really loved about cruising was the opportunity to meet so many like-minded folks from so many different backgrounds.

I am so fortunate to have so many wonderful women friends—incuding those who are also family members—who all have been marvelous teachers by example, however, I have not always internalized the lessons.

As Lynnelle and I have pointed out, again and again, we are working to become better people.

For a start, we’re working to pare down, learn more, listen more, give more, be better friends, better partners, healthier, and more fiscally responsible.

Whew! That’s a lot. EW and I are working on making huge, giant changes in our situation after two difficult (yet not horrible) years and that is a part of all of this, as well.

When I was in my 30’s and struggling I figured I had years to get things right and of course, if I could go back to that woman I’d say: Do It NOW! Exercise, change your habits, earn more, save more, love more, give more, listen more, forgive and forget—including your own transgressions.

You know why? Because now I see that I don’t have 50 or 60 more years and I want to be that Strong, Smart, Healthy woman RIGHT FLIPPING NOW! (Yeah, patience is not currently my virtue.)

Of course, life doesn’t work that way and those impatient folks such as I am may get discouraged and backslide and even give up.

Do NOT give up because you are awesome and you deserve to be even more awesome.

Nope, we can’t have it all. We never could. Life is about choices/the road not taken/recovering from mistakes—depending on the topic or year. The lucky, wise, “old souls”, or just smarter folks we know may have learned all this at 30 or 40. Most of us missed a step or three. Our choice now is to either continue to work to become our best selves or give up and accept our “failings”. Actually, the choice is about accepting who we are, our essential selves and working with that wonderful person inside us to let her shine in the best possible light and do everything she is able and desires to do. Every. Single. Thing.

Yesterday, I was told that I was a heroine.

Yesterday, I took a wonderful warm sunny day (one of few we’ve had in St. Augustine this winter) and spent most of it cleaning, paring down, and picking up. My to-do list for the day included exercise and I actually went ashore with that in mind late in the afternoon, which is rare. (Usually, if I don’t exercise in the morning, I never get to it.) Instead of the planned bike ride, I invited my boat neighbor and her dog for a walk and offered to show them the best dog exercise area in the city.

We had a lovely time. First, there are few things that lighten my soul more than watching a great dog romp with abandon; plus, this neighbor is an impressive, loving, and wise woman. (She has five patents!)

She said I was her heroine. Me. Messy, impatient, struggling me —and she was generous in telling me why she admired me.

I needed that. Yes. There are important things I want to work on and areas of myself that would get checked in the “Needs Improvement” section of those old grading notices. (I “Needed Improvement” in not talking as much in class. No surprise there.) We all have things that “Need Improvement” yet we all excel and we are each someone’s heroine.