BFFs Revisited over 60
You know that old kids’ song, “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.”
Both types of friends are invaluable so I hate to imply that one is more precious than the other. (And really, silver seems like an insult.) If you’re fortunate as I am, you have both kinds of friends, old and new, though for women over sixty, “oldest friend” may not be a welcome moniker.
“I’d like you to meet my “OLDEST friend“. Isn’t that special? Bless her heart.
Silver/Gold, Pre-Post, Forever Friends & Friends for Life
Instead of “New=Silver” and “Old = Gold”, perhaps we can agree on two new categories. How about one category for the women friends with whom we bonded PRIOR to growing breasts, another for those we met AFTER.
Think about it, that friend who knew you and became your “bosom buddy” before you had bosoms, knows you as well or better than your sister does. She knew you when you wanted to win the “Miss Congeniality” title in the Miss America Pageant. (As if.) She knew your mom’s pet name for you. She’s met your aunts and uncles. She knows about your first kiss, first boyfriend, and first time to “second base” and beyond.
And she will never, ever tell.)
The Pre-Bosom Buddy of your childhood is a Forever Friend. This sister-of-your-heart is the friend you kept even as you moved to different states or just in different directions. In fact, if you hadn’t met pre-bosom, you might never have known each other! And that would be a great loss. (For Movie, think “Beaches” or “Now and Then”, or “Snow Flower and the Secret Fan”.)
The second category is reserved for that friend you met after buying a bra was no longer a right-of-passage and she does not know everything about you. That friend may have come into your orbit as you started a new job, met your life partner, had a baby, got a divorce, started a business, or traveled after retirement. You didn’t know each other when you started high school, graduated from college, became a partner in the firm, or sobbed when the “baby” got married. At some point—when you needed her, or when she needed you, or both—you met. (Cue the violins. Cue Carol King.) (For movies, think “Thelma and Louise”, “Mona Lisa’s Smile”, and “Calendar Girls”…and no, Lynnelle, we will not publish that kind of calendar!)
The Bosom Buddy of your adulthood loves the woman you are and becomes a Friend for Life.
Silver, Gold… and Plutonium?
I wanted to end this with a reference back to the Gold and Silver thing and asked Lynnelle, “What’s more valuable than Silver or Gold?”
“Lynnelle, can we think of something that isn’t so … destructive?”
After some research into the most precious of metals, we found Rhodium, of the “platinum family”, and learned that it’s highly reflective and commonly used in search lights and mirrors. In short, boring, so Lynnelle said, “Let’s just use Platinum.”
And that is why she is one of my Bosom Buddies and a Platinum Friend for Life.
It’s true – I, like most of us, have friends from many different chapters of my life. Thanks to Facebook, I’m back “in touch” with friends I made, as Barb puts it, prior to growing breasts. But, if I’m to be totally transparent here… <gulp> and if I’m to keep with Barb’s boob analogy, I need to categorize THREE eras of friendships – not two.
1. Pre-Boob era; (1957-1970)
2. Pre-Boob-Job era; (1970-1986)
3. Post boob-Job era; (after 1986)… I just had a sickening thought. My post-boobs are older than my former boss.
However… now that I think about it – I really didn’t have any boobs before 1985, so actually I do have a pre-boob and post-boob era. Mine were just manufactured and not found in nature.
Most of the friends I am still actively in contact with are post-boob friends. Not exactly sure why that is, other than I moved away right after school. I’m thankful Facebook has enabled a reengagement with early life friends, if mostly online. (Shout-out to Vicky, Peggy, Rhonda and the MAC girls!)
If you haven’t already gotten it, Barb is an outgoing extrovert. Not a normal, run of the mill extrovert; an OUTGOING extrovert. Myself, I’m an introvert; a friendly introvert, but an introvert still. There are no strangers in Barb’s world. She would likely need all the metals in the periodic table to list and categorize the friends she’s collected throughout her life. I’m glad I rank at the platinum level. I’m REALLY glad she didn’t classify me as her plutonium friend. (We’ve all had our share of THOSE; the mean girls don’t stop being mean post-boobs.)
The Value of Life Friends… for Life
We wish platinum ranked friends for all of you, whether they are Pre- or Post-Boobs, Boob Job, or (it must be said) Boob Scare. With platinum worth over $29.00 a gram and with the average over-60 woman weighing about 150 pounds, Forever Friends and Friends for Life are worth over two million dollars each.
But, we really know they’re priceless.
We had fun checking out movies about women friends. This site had a great list. Grab a Forever Friend or a Friend for Life, add wine and chocolate, and enjoy.
If you haven’t already, please join us in the HaT tribe. We’re a fun group of silver, gold and platinum introverts and extraverts looking to share ideas and experiences and compare notes as we explore what is known as our “senior years”. We will make special efforts to avoid the plutonium landmines.